Is Violence America's Addiction?
How Bad Do We Need Our Fix?
Can Violence can ever be the Answer?
Divide and Conquer has no place in a Democracy.
Violence always begets Violence in this world.
In this world, we all have some sort of heartbreak. Dashed dreams, broken relationships, ideals trashed, and all forms of dishonor and disrespect. Even though we live in perhaps one of the greatest countries on earth, we are more divided than ever. And it seems to me that we are bent on expanding that breach to an unrepairable level.
"In choosing democracy, we must exhibit tolerance for ideas with which we disagree. When we choose intolerance, we leave our democratic values behind, which is the real enemy of our Constitution. We must argue, debate and deliberate in good faith. And we must be willing to listen, learn and change our minds." (Intolerance, the real threat to our Democracy)
Democracy requires dissent. Without opposing sides, we cannot see a broader and deeper perspective so that better decisions can be made. The reason this is so true collectively is that it is also just as true individually. We must learn to see both sides, listen to both sides, and do our best to seek understanding; knowing that no one is better than another person and that sides are nothing more than the stories we allow in our heads. We all have reasons for thinking the way we do. Our values and beliefs are anchored deep in our soul, so much so that they become a part of us. Our values and beliefs become our identity, whether we realize it or not. That’s why when someone disagrees with us, it feels like a personal attack. Because, in a way it is.
And yet, knowing full well that we feel attacked when someone opposes us, we turn around and intentionally attack them back. No longer is it inadvertent or unconscious. Suddenly our emotions flare up and we go at it using our best tactics of war that we have. We all have a very extensive box of war tools that if we proceed without conscience or empathy, can do a lot of damage. We go into a mode of operation that embraces a language of war. Anytime we think we are right, we must make others wrong if they disagree. Anytime we use labels and call names, we demean the other person so that we can gain the advantage. Anytime we dominate the “other”, we have made them the enemy that we become hell bent on destroying.
Never in my lifetime have I seen such rage, hate, and fear; against dissent. Never have I seen such name calling, labeling, insulting, dehumanization, disrespect, and outright bullying. This is something that no decent human being would ever support; not in America, not in Christianity, not in any world religion, and not among those that choose no religion. We know this. We have always known this. What happened? Have we really been brainwashed within our self-designed bubbles, echo chambers of deceit?
We are what we eat. We are what we consume
Often we are not aware of what external influences are doing to us internally. There is no way we can escape the powerful influences that surround us, especially if we are not aware of them. We live our lives so unaware, at least I did for over 50 years. There is a difference between seeing and Seeing. That is perhaps one of the most significant changes in my life and my perspective on life and this world. For 50 years, I lived life on the surface because that’s all I perceived. We can't know what we don't know.
Even with my biblical teachings about the spirit world, I was still living life on the surface with nothing more than ideas and concepts that were told to me by preachers, teachers, and books. But the difference is that I was still just seeing rather than Seeing. As I continued on the path of opening my mind and my heart and unclenching my fist, I started to see the heart behind the words and actions. I started to hear the pain and suffering behind the words and actions.
People speak loudly with both words and even more so with actions. But we are not listening until we are able to understand the heart behind these surface activities of words and actions. This is particularly important with children. When they don’t have the words to express what they need to express, then it turns into actions used to get our attention.
Another example of that is what Martin Luther King Jr said, “Riots are the language of the unheard.” Whether we judge them right or wrong, this still rings true. Just like it is wrong for children to act out violently, so it is wrong for adults to act out violently. But this is what happens when people feel unheard. And we are not asking the questions, as MLK Jr continued, “And, what is it that America has failed to hear?”
Working with a variety of people of all ages all my life, I learned that all behavior is communication. And until I learned to pay attention beyond the surface, I’d be clueless and often hurtful in my response. We must seek understanding first, above all else. This is the first step to peace.
So if this can do so much damage on an individual level, don’t you think that on a collective level it would cause exponentially worse damage? That’s what I see. I see an administration that is administrating violence. The strategy for running the country is to disparage, disrespect, and dehumanize anyone and anything that stands against them. Any opposing ideas or differing opinions become the “Enemy of the People” which is a term used in totalitarian regimes, not democracy.
In Democracy, dissent is called the Voice of the People and Freedom of Expression. But currently the strategy is to dominate the press and the minds of the people to the extent that they are believing and saying things that they would never have said before. The strategy is age old in recorded history. This is a strategy of war. Here’s the process.
Labeling > Categorizing > Dehumanizing > Eliminating
Name calling and labeling for the purpose of
Categorizing into nice boxes of good and evil, friend or enemy.
Those we don’t like, we keep up the language of war in order to dehumanize whole groups of people. At present, from a republican administration, the enemies are made clear on a daily basis: liberals, democrats, elites, left wingers, radicals, the press, all become the enemy of the people so that they can
Eliminate those groups in order to eliminate dissent and opposition; the voice of the people. These, historically, are the stepping stones to a totalitarian regime.
For decent human beings, especially in a democracy, this is a matter of being able to regulate one's emotions and having the coping skills necessary to live among difference. How can people that cannot manage their own emotions and responses safely manage a country?
Underlying this war-like approach, the thing that makes it effective, is fear. The principalities and powers that are behind such tactics is the dynamics of the oppressors and the oppressed. Oppressors cannot exist without the oppressed. The oppressed cannot exist without the oppressors. This is going on behind the scenes whether we are aware of it or not. Seeing it is part of the process of learning to See. I can testify that once I learned to See it, I could no longer unsee it, and I started seeing it everywhere. Learning to See is both a blessing and a curse. Life would be easier and nicer if I did not learn to See. But on the other hand, I would never want to lose my ability to See reality beyond the shallow surface; to See more deeply and more clearly.
Is this what we want? Really? To go to war with fellow citizens? Of course we know that this could very easily happen in reverse with a democratic administration and all of the opposing groups that are deemed a threat to that present ideology. Here is another example of the difference between seeing things on the surface only and Seeing things beyond the surface.
In Politics of the Brokenhearted, Parker Palmer says this: “We misunderstand nonviolence because we misunderstand violence, which goes well beyond the physical savagery that gets all the press. More common by far are those assaults on the human spirit so endemic to our time that we may not recognize them for the violent acts that they are. Violence is done when parents demean children; when teachers humiliate students; when supervisors treat employees as disposable means to economic ends; when physicians treat patients as objects; when people denounce homosexuality “in the name of God”; when racists regard people of a different skin color as less than human; and when religious believers of any stripe condemn those outside the fold. These forms of violence, like their physical counterparts, result from holding tension in ways that cause our hearts to explode.
“By violence I mean any way we have of violating the identity and integrity of the other.”
“I find that definition helpful because it reveals the critical connection between violent acts small and large, from humiliating a child in a classroom to dropping bombs on civilians halfway around the world.
“Most of us live out our lives in the home, the neighborhood, the classroom, the workplace; we do not make decisions of global consequence. And yet for better or for worse, the choices we make in the small arenas of our lives contribute to what happens in the world at large. If we do no more than acquiesce to daily minidoses of violence, we become desensitized to it. By embracing the popular madness that violence is “only normal” and assenting to its dominance in human affairs, we exacerbate its evils. . . . the choices we make in the small arenas of our lives contribute to what happens in the world at large.”
When I hear hear echoes of "prolife" in this political atmosphere, my response is this: can there be anything more hypocritical? How can corruption be so blatant, especially for those that call themselves Christians? To me, this is very anti-life, anti-American, anti-Christ, anti-human.
Is there an alternative?
Dialogue
Communication with each other is one of the basic foundations of any democracy. When communication breaks down like it has here in American, we must unlearn, reimagine, and relearn a new way that is tried and tested. We must change the way we communicate by seeking to understand first before we seek to be understood. Currently, most people's style of communication is similar to what is called discussion, which is sort of like ping pong. We bat ideas at each other and with each action and reaction we are trying to beat the other by asserting ourselves in order to dominate. In most conversations, instead of listening for understanding, we are busy formulating our next response; missing the whole point.
What if there is another way to communicate? There is and it is tried and tested through research. David Bohm calls it dialogue and gives a very detailed description based on his research as a physicist here, http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/Chaos-Complexity/dialogue.pdf
Here are some basic principles mostly based on another source, The Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire:
Dialogue: we must be willing to talk to one another.
We begin by suspending all assumptions.
No judgement. No jumping to conclusions.
Dialogue cannot exist apart from love.
Love is rooted in humility.
Love is an act of courage, not fear.
Love is an act of commitment:
To the oppressed
To the cause of liberation of all people
To human completion and potential
Dialogue cannot exist apart from
Faith in humankind
Belief in others and self
Dialogue is not depositing nuggets of knowledge into people’s brains
Dialogue is not telling others what to think or believe
Dialogue is not naming or labeling others or the world on behalf of others.
Dialogue can only be done in a group of equals. Keep in mind that we are all created equal.
Nonviolence
Another tried and tested technique for moving away from the politics and language of violence is nonviolence. “Nonviolence in its dynamic condition means conscious suffering. It does not mean meek submission to the will of the evildoer, but it means the pitting of one’s whole soul against the will of the tyrant. Working under this law of our being, it is possible for a single being to defy the whole might of an unjust empire to save his honor, his religion, his soul and lay the foundation for that empire’s fall or regeneration.” (Mahatma Gandhi).
More on nonviolence here, https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/the-power-of-non-violence/
Brokenheartedness
Brokenhearted is a term that I gravitate towards in my own life and
past experiences. It is a way to get back up and keep going, a way to find strength and purpose. To me, I believe that we all are living with a broken heart, which puts us all in the same boat. I feel that this is also an apt depiction of those that are invisible, marginalized, poor, oppressed, strangers, aliens, orphans, widows, the least of these, etc. Brokenhearted puts us in solidarity with those that are willing to admit their brokenness rather than puffing themselves up over others. The first will be last and the greatest will be the least according to Jesus. We don’t take that very seriously in America today, unfortunately. I believe that if we desire to see life as it really is, we must learn to see through the eyes of the brokenhearted.
“Life does not accommodate you; it shatters you. Every seed destroys its container, or else there would be no fruition.
― Florida Scott-Maxwell, The Measure of My Days
See the Way of the Brokenhearted here also. https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/the-way-of-the-broken-hearted/
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